Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Today one of my fren,she asked mi why is she so fickle-minded, so flower heart...But I think she is not bah...afterall, she got so many suitors, many options....Of coz, tempted mah..but i think she dun feel gd bah...after so many months liao..she can't 4get her ex...everything she got, is related to her ex...perhaps beening fickle-minded is a way to 4get him bah...so ger if u are reading this, dun blame urself for that lah...god treats u betta becoz he made a mistake and caused u alot unhappiness.. so he decide to let u choose ..so be happy k...and ya dun think of that person liao lah...
and ya...i'm aso very happy today...wt finally tok to mi online...yea yea...really bery glad can act as normal again..miss those days...but he is goin to bangkok wif all his coursemates..win liao rite so fun xia...y lom student dun haf this kind of chance one...but aso quite worried for them lah...bangkok..in thailand.after the tsunamis..so be careful guyz..n haf fun....ck rem to bring gift back leh..haha

argh...i got so many things to do...i hate it.......

haiz...christmas over liao.... nvm..new year coming......but stilll got a long way to go...haiz..

This morning, I still very sick...But I'm so bored...So I wrote a poem.,my lst attempt writing a poem..Haha...


first day, I met him
he is a vainpot
shake his leg,
comb his hair and
keep looking into mirror
however he is funny.
As the time goes by,
we met everyday.
I realized he is special and different.
In my heart,
I knew something is
wrong with mi.
When I saw the way he protecting yahui
from the big heavy rain
I envy yahui so much
and finally one day,
I confessed to him
but then he ran away
we avoided n ignore each other
I knew we can nv be the same again
i knew i can nv be the ger he dreamt
while i'm jus a big ,silly ugly ger
I got nothing to compare with her
love has caused us fall apart
and it was all my fault
lucky, i got a grp of caring frens
who will always be there for mi
thank you all my fren
and i love you all too
while now he is out of my life
but the footsteps he left in my heart
will nv fade away
now i hope to regain the frenship once we had
no matter what happens
he will always be my fren.

i noe my poem not really rhyme...haha..i will try to modify again..haha...when i got the time...hehe.. gd nite everi

i cANNOT stop coughing....i hate it...lucki..my head not so giddy liao...ystd i lst time got blurred vision even wif my spec on...still coughing now....sian lo...i hate to be sick xia..the feeling jus so suck...somemore..cannot eat this , cannot eat that lah...sian....
today i didn attend log mod tutorial...hopefully, i can still cope...now i'm so stress abt the comskill thingy...why mus be pbl...why???? alot of things haben do yet..siao liao...stress ar..how am i goin to recover...

yes !!!!!!!! i got his sms .....finally...after so many months...yea!!!!!! he sms mi to thx mi for the christmas gift...i'm too happy...haha...another step to regain our frenship...yea yea yea yea!!!!!!! ok i admit i'm too high...but wat to do...i'm so happy really....i know is kinda of silly of mi...but i'm really happy!!!!! and aso i wan to thx shalene for the tupperware gift...yea it is nice...
yea yea yea!!!!!!! hopefully he can read the card...hopefully he understands wat i wrote lah. wt, if u dun understand , pls ask mi k..hahaha! silly mi... and i aso happy to see weiyuan so long didn see him liao...today he joined us during the purchasing lect...haha...he is so farnie loh..n heng hor..mr lim asked him qn...hahhaha...he is a nice person!!! i'm so happy !!!!!!!!!!! happy mi......yea........yea...yea...yea...yea... i GOt HIS SMS!!!!!! cheers everybody!!!!!!!!!

ok...christmas is coming..yea....but tis year christmas is on a saturdaY...win liao rite...sian..aniway..tis weekend was a gd one..i jus slack then lag..haha....at last got 2 days for mi to relax....dun reallly get to relax during weekdays...i hate monday to friday..haha......in short i hate weekdays...i so look forward to weekends now.....come quickly...next weekend...
i love to watch that channel 8 movie show..miriam cheng n daniel wu act one..so nice..haha..so farnie loh...i really so enjoy my weekend now..i wish there are no weekdays sia...oni weekends..haha...live in my hse everyday...haha..fat hope...haha...

ok...today was quite ok lah...morning suppose to work..but i cannot wake up n aso my headache..so i didn go...i'm really tired...then afternoon went for log mod lecture loh...mr koh still the same loh..but this time he quite farnie lah...keep saying the students more pro in excel...but i still prefer mr koh as mr koh but not a tutor...sometimes he is jus too impatient..then after the lecture, terence, yahui and mi went to biz canteen to haf lunch.. we shared some cold jokes...then javier shared his jokes aso..haha..so farnie..and ya...i saw weiting...he was alone..or i see wrongly..i tot he is always wif gers one mah..haha...i dunno why leh..i jus like to see him frm far bah...haha...crazi mi...maybe this is a betta way...no awkardness at all...happy to see him..haha...crazi mi again....then went for principle of marketing tutorial...and i witnessed the smallest klass room in the singapore bah...i nv seen such a small klass room loh... we got abt 20 ppl ...have to squeeze in so small room..imagine ar...one person fart..haha...i duno wat to say loh...haha but my tutor kinda losoh...nvm lah....then after sch , terence n i went to opposite sch de prime mart...pei him to buy charoal for the bbq at cheewee's place...we walked around the primemart loh...becoz we waiting for yahui n kokyee to come....then we walk finished prime we went upstair which is the big bookshop loh...haha..terence is a farnie guy lah..haha..then i keep askin him..whether he is interested in yaling anot becoz he feel that yaling quite outstanding among the gers lah..and he can remember her face oni...haha..he like so paiseh..haha..but he dun mind i make fun of him ..haha...nice guy hor..yaling...hope u r reading..haha..jus kiddin lah....as wat my fren always say lets the nature takes its course mah...i noe.haha...

wah..today...i'm reALLY tired..haha..nv so tired liao..morning i went to work for 3 hrs...then noon i brought aunty ah mei to tp..bring her to take the bks...finally get rid of the bks liao...lom lab not that messy le...then i aso brought shalene to my hse..haha...so qiao my cousin came to my hse..haha..so she got to play wif my cousins...then let her look my pictures lah...haha..nth to entertain her...paiseh ar shalene...then we went to sch together...haha...then we bring 3 big umbrella along loh..so paiseh....then i got cds...sian loh..but my tutor is a nice lady lah...then i grp wif fizil n alvin..haha...lst time realli SIt dwn n chat wif fizil...haha..but one sad thingy aso that he broke up wif his gerfren..so sad rite..haiz ...another sad case... but he said he still in gd term wif his ex lah..so happy for him loh....after my klass..i went for my lig meeting...erm..is kinda tired by then...so my mind not really workin well..haha..mr teo keep tokin loh....haiz....he is nice person lah...but is like to reorganize smth that is broken ... is kinda tough loh... but i dun lose hope lah..perhaps it will really revive again...hopefully... like i always hope that mi n wt could revive again loh.. i didn lose hope...not that i'm stubborn...but i tink if we cannot be anything...at least we can be frens.....i jus wished he regard mi as a fren bah...i noe the problem lies wif mi bah..coz i'm not regarding him as a fren...but i'm trying..give mi smth..maybe keep mi busy could help mi....i really wish we are still frens hhaha...silly mi... we are indeed still frens....jus that one's avoiding, the other is ingnoring.......i wan to be his fren.....i REALLY one...so i decide le..i'm goin to write smth to him...in a christmas card..haha...win liao rite....haiz...but i dunno how to start..give mi suggestion k..haha

ok...today morning...haha..i cried over a new song..haha...it was...so sad.. this song is call destroying love..i translated literally frm chinese...haha...bery nice...really..the lyrics...is damn sad loh...haiz..... u all can try clickin the link http://tw.music.yahoo.com/demo/705.html# then select the third or fifth link... i dunno maybe u might find that song is not really nice...but it means alot to me..haha...really expressed my feelin..
haiz...today, logistic modelling tutorial was fun..haha...basically, the modelling is not catwalk modelling..hahaha...is a stimulation of reality...if i didn get the definition wrong....mr yeo is a nice tutor...really nice tutor..haha....sian...
right i'm researching for my pbl stuff ....hate it !!!!!!!

i dun wan to fall into a bottomless pit........... i really dun wan.........i'm trying to climb up.......trying very hard.........i'm tired..........haiz i dun wan to go sch..i dun wan to see ppl....i dun wan to see anything.....ok....haha...i dun wan to do anithing.....somebody help mi....haha
today was a long day, nid to wait for UIR lect..sian after pom lecture i saw ck n weiting frm the biz park 2nd floor window there..then i called ck..hahaha..he was wondering where am i ..then weiting told him i was at his back....i'm quite surprised lah..he can see mi when i'm very very behind him leh...i dunno lah....yahui told mi i shld treat it normally...but how am i goin to treat it normally? big qn..alot qns...shld i delete or shld i not delete...i dunno wat shld i do......cried finished liao...still wans to cry...i dunno wat to do...
haiz...jus now was tokin to a guy fren..he said he is aso goin to fall into a pit..that pit is my gf fren...n he finally told mi he like her...i'm quite happi at least he is aware that he likes her...but he is afraid that will hurt her again...so sad rite...so he decide he will not tell her...i dunno wat i shld i do lah...haiz...life...is a struggle....i agreed

haha..18 yrs old liao...haha...then i mus be more responsible..today i'm so happy...i wan to thank shihui, mingshu, yahui, calista, shalene , jooee, jiaxian, cheryl,candice ck, weiyuan, daniel, kokyee and lastly but not the least is weiting.. and thank everyone whu remembered my birday and wished mi happy birthday...thank u all so much...
ok...i'm beri happy...but i'm sad too..haha i'm getting older...haha.....today i met him...i was really happy that at least he wished mi happy birthday......i'm really really happi....but when i saw a ger beside him...i was totally devastated...haha...no kiddin ok..haiz.....i'm jealous...i noe is kinda stupid...but i noe..haiz.... i noe we can nv..nv..ever......

ok...i'm turning 18 soon..in few mins time...lstly...i like to spend my last few 17 yrs old mins...tokin abt wat happened tis year...basically..there are highs n LOws...and...happy moments n unhappy moment ...alot alot lah..haha...dunno how to summarise leh..happy moments like i got the DHL award, went to sentosa wif my frens..haha...kinda lame rite..but i missed my holidays...then the moments wif kokyee like we went into the library with sandwiches in his laptop bag..haha..so fun yet risky..then i got a new name(BPW)mr tkymany many precious moments wif my fren loh...then of course got the unhappy moment such as the wt case and the job case...then of course those stupid stress moments..like my cds case..dunno which to choose...then nid to adapt to a new environment...haiz....of course there were moment i can't forget that i wished to forget...like watching princess diary 1 in the library..aiya..so many things to say...however i gained alot for the past 17 yrs ...learn to be independent...which i'm still learning...haha..i still very dependent to my family..n frens...haha...then life cannot be always smooth sailing one mah...when you fall down , you need to learn how to stand up again..nv give up....i know i kinda of contradict myself...coz i always give up easily...n always say wan to die..all those stupid n silly stuffs....but today i watched ripley's..this show i 4get the name liao...then got this guy stepped on a landmine when he was young...that time he was a successful baseball player...but unfortunately his legs were amputated if i'm not wrong due to the landmines...so sad rite...but he was optimistic..and he even joined a 20 miles marathon ..and he completed the marathon using his arm...he used his arms to push/hold himself....he nv give up.....so i kinda felt ashamed..becoz i always give up easily...so i made a resolution le...i will nv give up easily ...yea....frm tomorrow starts...haha...

Jus now i was browsing someone else bloggy then i read this nice poem...
"Just Walk Away" written by a lady, got one phrase is like this
"There'll never be a moment I'll regretI've loved you "....so nice...perhaps it aso describe my feeling bah...i know i like wt caused both us alot unhappiness but i'll nv regret...
ok enough of the sad stuff...lets tok abt the industry visit...it was horrible...terrible...cannot make it...it was so boring loh...haiz...ok i cannot deny i saw many containers and the grapper...haha...but...sian....haiz...
today so rainy hor...

today...i really veri stress ar...dunno whether i shld drop my cds anot...haiz...but in the end..i changed my cds...to using internet in a research tool..haiz...sian loh...but now ok liao...finally...stupid rock drop out of my heart...haha...then meet mingshu , then we went to jupiter cafe...the fish n chip was nice..ehhe..they even got their trademark on it....hehe..
aniway...today quite farnie lah...i met javier outside travel parnter mah..then waved byebye to him loh..then duno where weting pop out behind him...then weiting tot i waved to him bah..i duno shld i consider myself heng , everyday go sch mus at least see him once...haiz...why do this to mi? really dunno shld be happy or sad anot....i noe deep in my heart i do wan to see him...i wan to tok to him..ask him how was he...haiz...i tink tis will not happen bah..never...
during my UIR tutorial , i got to know this new fren...his name is alvin...a nice chap xia...quite knowledgeable abt internet stuff...and then i kaypoh asked him whether he noe william aso frm his course..to my surprise...he was william's fren...haha..so qiao..tis is a small world afterall..then i kaypoh further ask him abt his age..he is 24 this yr..no wonder i find him so mature...nice person..haha...then my UIR tutoR more farnie....she is Mrs wan...she so lucki loh...she told mi that she met JAY CHOU last week in singapore ..if i'm not wrong......wah...then i asked her whether she got his autograph anot..she didn take frm him loh...she was sitting next to him loh...i mean her table n his table was side by side....win liao rite...so heng leh....i tink i will go crazy if i beside jay chou loh....wah...win le

haiz....i'm confused today....very very confused...i dunno wat shld i do...lucki i found emily...to teach mi art....really frustrated...haiz....
last nitez...i'm quite relieved...at least got ming shu n frank n hui to give mi advice...so nice of them....even though it was a bad daY... i'm jus so stressed...dun noe wat will going to happen to tmr..honestly..i'm like living in fear...pressure......i dunno is it that i'm give myself too much pressure..
i'm not enjoying life at all...i'm not 18 yet...but i'm under so much pressure......haven legal age leh...where can liddat one..so sad..haha
ystd nite i'm so touched...mingshu..is so nice loh...haha..thx ming...she is a realy really really really really a great fren....thx alot...

second day nia...i'm so stress liao...i dunno wat i'm goin to do loh.....dunno wat stupid problem based learning....made mi so stress...i hate it....then got stupid free handdrawing....even more stupid.....today all veri stupid ...i'm frustrated.....jus so stupid bloody hell....
i hate it...why ....why everithing so confusing....why wt avoidin mi...why i changed my cds...why am i in tis state...why am i crying ...what am i tinkin......

lst day of sch ....eh...not bad lah...until 3 +...then i met him again......we nv tok...no eye contact...act as if nv know each other.....sad...i dun wan to tink....slp...gd nite everibody...

ok...today is monday....lst day of year 2 sem 2 .....so fast hor...haiz...wat to do..time flies..haha..today quite fun...got to tease ck...hehe...actually he quite nice lah...weiyuan, ck n daniel all nice guy... tis morning...i got a shocked haha...not shocked lah...jus so surprised...got so mani ppl crowd around the tp bus stop...tot got some accident or wat xia...
then i changed my cds...i chose free handdrawings...i dunno whether i made a gd choice anot..but i changed it liao...so i decided le...no regrets...
wanted to get another elective..but i scared cannot cope hence...i gave up the idea...
today is quite nice lah...until i saw wt again....i was wif my frens at the canteen then he came along wif kelvin ....but i dunno why....why come find us when he wans to avoid mi?....why? why behave like strangers..when we noe each other...haiz...we saw each other rite....can't we jus be frens? *sob*soB*
i hate it man.....i realli hate it...
haiz..tmr got sch frm 9am to 6 pm ar...long day...sian...haiz...

ok tok abt ystd lst...ystd nite ..i smsed my 'bro', informin him whu are those ppl in his klass...he was not his usual self ystd...can sense it frm his reply lah...then i probe him..then found out that he was very stress with his timetable stuff...he need to find our course manager urgently...but he can't find lo..so he kinda fed up bah...so to cheer him up...i told him some silly jokes..haha but i think he didn listen to my jokes bah...while i was cheering up him, i became more sad liao..haha...so farnie rite...dunno leh...maybe becoz he mentioned that he saw wt in sch.....mood sudden swinged lo...
actually quite envy him lo...i dun mean his stress thingy lah...but he like is so well rounded student...he is the adventure club president in our school..then his academic result distinction case one...then his "love life"(bgr) aso beri sucessful...got a capable gerfren...pretty somemore...really envy him....
then today quite peaceful until noon...then my aunt came back...with food...then my ah gong aso came back with food lo....then i kanna scoldin by my aunt lo...haiz...in the lst place..i didn ask my aunt to buy anything lo...then i didn even ask my ah gong to buy anything aso loh...then my aunt scold mi lo...in fact is not mi to ask her to buy one lo....dun accuse mi mah...so sad lo...some time life is so unfair.....sometime i jus hope i can die leh...is much easier...dun have all tis stupid thing happening.....
ya...saying abt that...i rem ystd nite, william..that fella...too much lo....always so demanding...feel like scoldin him aso...ystd nite asked mi to help him to check and print his timetable...basic courtesy aso dun haf lo...didn even say pls...call mi straight away demand mi to check him timetable...i was quite fed up liao.....sometime i just feel..he take my help for granted lo... honestly i treat him like my gd buddy lo...but i dunno how he treat mi lo...haiz...enough of him...anyway sch goin to start liao...no time to angry liao..haha
haiz....sian...hui go chalet liao...haiz...nobody to chat with le.

haha...finally...today last day of work liao....kinda sad...coz i not workin there liao...coz nxt dec holiday i got attachment liao...4yrs of dec holiday..i had been workin there for 4yrs liao..so fast hor....so fast ..time really flies....n ruijing aso grew up liao...actually ruijing quite nice lo...no wonder so mani ger like him...ok not mani gers..but rather quite a few...too bad he younger than mi...if not i confirm woo him...hahah...jus kiddin...
aniway sch goin to start...beri excited but aso veri worried...dunno wat will happen for the nxt sem...realli worried..hahaha...silly rite...worry still laugh...wat to do...
ystd, quite fun lo...i met hui after work...then we go popular bkshop buy paper...haha...is those kind foldin paper lah...haha...ask her to teach mi how to fold heart n star...hehe...then we went to the 800+ mac...we met de yan...haha,...he grew up alot lo he is so friendly...so mature now...last time see him so small n skinny...hahah..now quite yandao...haha..his smile really made my day..haha..jus kiddin..but he serve customer wif gd atittdue..nice guy....then hui n mi tok lo n stay in the mac dunno for how long...then i realised no more customer in there liao..we quickly leave that mac...haha....then walked all the way to a blk 900+ there we sat there n chat again..haha.. . so talkative hor..haha..until 6+...
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