{prologue}

preferred to be called: MichB
years of existence: 19
preoccupied with: eating, sleeping, cooking , throbbing, sighing, reading, flying, star-gazing

*loves:
{chocolate
{nature
{fireflies
{him
{waterfalls
{stars

*loathes:
{plastics
{back-biters
{pests
{back aches

{wishlist}

ipod
sony erisson w900
his love
Precious thoughts figurine
happiness
{fellows}

cheryl}
 emily}
 Shihui}
 yahui}
 weiren}
 chee wee}
 fira}
 sulin}
 daniel}

{express}
N {Shoutbox}


 
{credits}

 Afianne
 Blogskins.com
 Kakii.com
 Miss M
 44suburbia
 Foto Decadent
 
{bygone}

 October 2004[x] November 2004[x] December 2004[x] January 2005[x] February 2005[x] March 2005[x] April 2005[x] May 2005[x] June 2005[x] July 2005[x] August 2005[x] September 2005[x] October 2005[x] December 2005[x] January 2006[x] February 2006[x] March 2006[x] April 2006[x] May 2006[x] June 2006[x] July 2006[x] August 2006[x] September 2006[x] October 2006[x] November 2006[x] December 2006[x] January 2007[x] February 2007[x] March 2007[x] April 2007[x] May 2007[x] August 2007[x]






























Tuesday, August 30, 2005

It’s truJust wish I had a crystal ballTo show me, if it’s worth it all....I feel like I’m falling for you But I’m scared to, let go I’m scared coz my heart has been hurt so...And I’ve got to be sure Coz it’s been so longAnd I cannot take the pain again If it all goes wrong

10:09 PM;

Sunday, August 28, 2005

how i'm missingyou so bad where was my head where was my heart now i cry alone in the dark i lay awake i drive myself crazy drive myself crazy thingking of you...nice song...i'm thinking of u... got it... wu mao mao.....

11:04 PM;

Friday, August 26, 2005

ok..today is friday...it is considered as my last day of my sch semester... haiz..meaning..it has come to an end... actually very sad lah...but then like wad my fren said... mus depend on fate....jus that i'm still not ready for goodbye...if only i rewind the time...haha... impossible... so no point... but i'm sad...haha..becoz i won't get to crap wif him le...so sad!!!! wu mao mao do u hear me?????????? stop the time for me...now.. rewind the time... pls...pls..pls...... sian.... haiz... sian lo...but then we mus look forward.... there's gotta be more to life...so ...yeah..look forward... i dunno how i shld feel now... i dunno which company i'm going to for sip...dunno who i'm going to meet and work wif... jus so anxious...yet very excited..but wif abit of... fear...dunno..scare..haha...

i was listening to tis song..by britney spear...title " i will still love you"...very nice...the song goes liddat
Time may take us apart, but I will still love you, I promise.And when the stars, stars are fallingI'll keep callingI promise that you'll be my one, my only everythingI'll never be untrueAnd I promise that for all your love I will do anythingI will give you the stars, I will buy you the moonEven through the longest of our nightsAnd even through the darkest daysOur love will find a wayAnd when the stars are fallingI'll keep callingI will still love youAnd when your dreams are fadingI'll be waitingI will still love youYou are my summer breeze, my winter sunMy springtime song, my autumn touch of goldAnd you are my sky, my rain, the one for which my love grows strongThe smile in my heart and the breath in my soulEven if we find ourselves apartWe will hold our hopes and dreamsForever in our hearts...
so nice.... haha...

8:41 PM;

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

haiz.... i wish time can slow down... pls... slow down... so that i can spend more time..with MaoMao...haha.... jus one day left.... oni day left... he won't be in sch tml... haiz.... just when i realised that i'm serious.... just when i noe... wt is no longer inside my heart... when i jus knew i no longer cry for wt.... but jus wanting to be wif u... hai..everything jus ended so fast... lol... life... i noe is wrong to ____ you..... no me ames... u always tell me that... so farnie....... yeah frenz forever!!! i'm very happy to noe.. haha..u hairy guY !!! but i still i wan to tell u smth... i'm very sad...very sad not becoz... u told me "no me ames".... we will always be frenz!!! becoz... cannot tok crap wif u liao... cannot see u everyday liao.... cannot disturb u liao.... and most importantly... I WILL MISS YOU!!!!! haha...
actually wif you... i learnt that loving someone is not abt whether u are with together wif him anot... but hope that she/he is happy ....lol.... be his buddy will do... AND thx alot... to help me forget the past..and move on...lol....... yeah frenz forever!!!! haha..how i wish u can read tis...but i doubt u will be reading tis... haha.. u surely not interested... lol.. wadever lah... haha... I will miss you!!! ok... all the best to ur SIP and exam...and not forgetting all my frenz aso... jiayou everybody!!!

9:26 PM;

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

i hate tis thing going inside me.... darn it!!!!!!!I REAlised i love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i dun waN TIS FEELING!!!!!!!!!!!!! WU MAO MAO..... HOW???????...TIS SEM going to end...but i dun wan tis sem to end so soon.... i hope i can see u everydAY!!!!!!!!!!!! ...haiz... i hate tis feeling...i dun wan to fall.... someone grab me n wake mi up...pls\!!!!!!!!! thx!!!!!!!!!!

10:52 PM;

Monday, August 22, 2005


11:45 PM;

Thursday, August 18, 2005

"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you."

so nice quote... haha... finally the lomee sufferings over liao.. yeah... i'm so happy.... next exam le...then tml still investiture thingy
abt sian lo.. haiz.. haha...yeah...i can't wait for the chalet!!!!!

10:38 PM;

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

yeah............ finally...its over !!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have moved on.....he is no longer on my mind.. yeah!!!!!!!! if u ever see mi..be a bird k... and pass me by... its the end... yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm so alive now...haha.....can't wait for the chalet... actually i'm still wondering..shld i ask u along...but i tink i shld... so maybe i will ask u bah.. yeah.. erm... we r (hesitated)... still frenz... haha...... if we both tinks so lah..haha.. anyway.. yup...
and ya... something is really wrong wif me... i tink i start to miss someone esle...haha... dunno y.. haha... but frens 4ever still the best lah...yup!!!!!! yeah... frenz rule!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10:34 PM;

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

You cry because your afraid of losing him... i cry because i know i'll never have him....

10:51 PM;

Sunday, August 14, 2005

It's probably because I knew that was the day I'd get to see you, even if it meant that few hours. Maybe I'm used to coming online and seeing you already there or see you pop up a while later. i used to open and closing that window, wondering what you're doing, wondering where you were, wondering if you would pop up soon. Sometimes I wonder if like me, you ever contemplated starting a conversation but just closed that window anyway. Or like me, hope we would bump into each other on our way to school. Or see each other in school. I mean am I waiting for you to say "hi". Or are you waiting for me to say something? Would we be always stuck at what we are? Sigh. No idea.

i didn wrote the above paragraph... it was my fren's fren who written it... but that was exactly how i felt... isn't it incredible... i nv met that my fren's fren before...yet... we got the exactly same feeling... omg...
ok... i'm so clumsy today...around 2+...i fell from the staircase...it hurts...my butt and back.... very pain ar....argh.... then i almost fall again jus now... dunno wad's wrong wif mi today...
actually for the passed few days...i feel so terrible...sigh... even beer can't work for mi now... i drank quite a few cans last nite..but then...haiz...i also dunno how... pls 4give mi....

11:43 PM;

Sunday, August 07, 2005

hey you.....I’m sorry for the stupid things I wish I didn’t do but I do ....Sometimes I do stupid things to you When I really don’t mean it all ..... haha...kinda late to say that....wat is the point to say that ...when both of us...are hurt...stabbed... killed....our frenship... i destroyed it totally...gotta move on...

hey mao...i dun wan to tok to u .. i hate you... u r so shallow.... shallow stupid mao.....Sometimes I do stupid things to you When I really don’t mean it all ................if u r not so shallow...wouldn't it be so nice...hai... lying to myself... like wad mingshu said... y are they so shallow...

11:39 PM;

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

tis friday is coming... i dunno why... everything will be coming to an end... i can't wait... no more tears... no more sadness....the blame is on me... if i nv see him... nth will happen... i shld choose to study somewhere... but wadever iszit...tis friday is coming...i'm leaving...somewhere peaceful...hopefully....maybe i dun even noe where i will be.... to somewhere...i can have a peace of mind...
i'm happy in the day and i'm sad in the nitez... i'm happy wif mao mao in the day... during nite i'm sad when i tink abt that....if oni i met him earlier...maybe today won't be like tis..... maybe i won't be so sad rite... he accepted my frankness and directness and we are still gd frenz.... very gd frenz.... he accepted my dumbness and stupidity...he is still my fren... my gd fren... friend 4ever... no i should not compare him wif him...he is different.... he is not mao mao... the blame is on me... i killed my own heart.... i hurt myself...... is all my fault... i dun wan to end in tis way...
why does it hurt me so? killing myself anot... is not his biz anyway.... lol...so... life is short and miserable... maybe shorten it would be betta...lol.... isn't it... but then i won't kill myself... i jus wan to end my sufferings...lol... i have to be happy... and cannot sad anymore... friday is coming... how do i end my suffering...haha... ppl ask mi wad suffering... the pain inside my heart...jus hurts so much..is so unbearable...... haha..... i noe many ppl dun understand... y i can't understand... i understood long ago... is my fault... is all on me... but i realised something... i nv wanted anything from him... and i hurt him becoz of my frank and directness...pressure him... but is not the matter anymore.... he won't have to stress abt tis anymore.... i hereby shall declare... wt is no longer my fren.... do i have to be so extreme... lol... i noe..we reached a pt whereby ...we ald no longer frenz le... is all my fault....it can't be salvage anymore...ok lah...enough le...

9:42 PM;

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

i dunno..... my tears jus flow so easily.... i can cry so easily...i'm so lousy.... one of my fren told mi... love him by doing it discreetly... did i do anything to him? i didn even get to tok to him at all... all i did...was to express my feeling in my nickname... and it upset him... y do he need to be upset... it not even his purpose... i didn even tok to him online... i didn even tell him i still love him... i didn tell him daily that i love him.... i didn even do anything to him.....all becoz of my nick...i didn even make annoucement to everyone that i love him....wad i did to terence i didn even do it to him... i didn even put my msn nick as " I love wt" before.... y can't i jus express my sad feeling... so wad i'm sad... all u care is the pressure i'm giving u.... but did i pressure u b4? i'm not a robot... to let go... it is not easy...maybe i'm selfish... very selfish... i do everything frankly and directly..maybe i'm inflexible.... take it i'm fucking idiot and fuck off and u won't see me anymore... and since it upset u so much... i had blocked and deleted u from my msn already... u won't get to see it anymore... maybe in tis way , u will be happier.... but u jus hurt mi deeply... sometimes i jus hope u can jus stab my heart... kill me...haha...its not ur fault..i started everything... i swear i won't mention anything abt you anymore if not i will die straightaway... i'm alright... but it jus that my heart hurts... i dun wan to cry anymore... but i can't stop crying... it jus hurts... deeply...and thx frenz... i noe u all care... pls forgive mi...if i behaving strangely... i'm preventing myself from crying...

9:22 PM;

Monday, August 01, 2005

it is fucking painful... i hate tis fucking painful feeling in my heart.....ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ....i wish tis is a dream... is jus a dream..... my love to him is a pressure.... yah...my love is fucking bullshitttttttttttttt..... u dun haf to care at all.......... not care.... u dun haf to be upset becoz of my nick..... y do u need to be so upset.... am i being very obvious... wad i mean...may not be you... so... fine... take it wad is said is all for terence goh k.... not you wt k... .... i hate you wt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i hate you too mich bong....u r such a big idiot.... fucking idiot.... jus fuck off....go to hell mich....

10:12 PM;

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