{prologue}

preferred to be called: MichB
years of existence: 19
preoccupied with: eating, sleeping, cooking , throbbing, sighing, reading, flying, star-gazing

*loves:
{chocolate
{nature
{fireflies
{him
{waterfalls
{stars

*loathes:
{plastics
{back-biters
{pests
{back aches

{wishlist}

ipod
sony erisson w900
his love
Precious thoughts figurine
happiness
{fellows}

cheryl}
 emily}
 Shihui}
 yahui}
 weiren}
 chee wee}
 fira}
 sulin}
 daniel}

{express}
N {Shoutbox}


 
{credits}

 Afianne
 Blogskins.com
 Kakii.com
 Miss M
 44suburbia
 Foto Decadent
 
{bygone}

 October 2004[x] November 2004[x] December 2004[x] January 2005[x] February 2005[x] March 2005[x] April 2005[x] May 2005[x] June 2005[x] July 2005[x] August 2005[x] September 2005[x] October 2005[x] December 2005[x] January 2006[x] February 2006[x] March 2006[x] April 2006[x] May 2006[x] June 2006[x] July 2006[x] August 2006[x] September 2006[x] October 2006[x] November 2006[x] December 2006[x] January 2007[x] February 2007[x] March 2007[x] April 2007[x] May 2007[x] August 2007[x]






























Thursday, October 26, 2006

Time: 6.14pm... still in my office desk...
already so many months have passed...
so many months since i last met him...
perhaps i wasn't a gd fren, he dun rem me at all or perhaps i was erased totally

for the past few months,
learnt alot in the industry...
you will meet all sort of ppl in this industry...
the cunning ones, the fierce type, those stingy type...
what can i say.... i aged alot in my office....
ppl are either out there to step on you.
and you either watch where you are heading or just made sure
you are "invisible" or "invincible"
in the sense, whereby, ppl can't see you becoz you are on top or ppl do not want to look at you..
if both ways don't suit you, all you have to do talk less and work more..
haha.. currently, i'm at the invisible stage...just sometimes, custom tends to "look after" me..
but i will be watching my backside...
another thing to take note... you will never sure who are your frens and who are your enemies..
guess enough of my office survival theory...

ystdy, found my diary inside my wardrobe.
yeah is a weird place to hide a diary... i dunno why i stuck my diary in there.
anyway, i read one of my entries.
he was pretty weird in my entries...as in the way i wrote in my diary
he was very patience considering my stupid acts and stuff...
and he sound pretty funny in my entries...
i just miss crapping and laming with him..
realised he was the only one that sit down and lame with me i mean at that time....
perhaps all my frens were different classes... spent most of my time wif him.. for 1 yr..
from normal class to SIP To fyp...
i guess i wasn't aware at that time, day by day i have fallen in for him...
and that tilll ystdy, then i realised when i have fallen for him...
perhaps it was all fated...

honestly, if i'm able to choose again and re-do everything again.
i will definitely remove many things including him...
i wouldn be working here i guess.
i wouldn have met many ppl.
perhaps i will be in a oversea zoo as a zookeeper..haha..
i wouldn be here missing him again.
haha..life....
definitely miss him alot. alot.

that's all folks.
as if anyone is reading..haha..
miss you !

7:00 PM;

Friday, October 13, 2006

isn't life so farnie.. one day, u can be attending a funeral ceremional session... then few days later, you are in wedding engagement party...
one moment u could be laughing, and then u cried in the nxt moment...
wad is the real meaning of being alive....
been pondering...but i can't ans it..
i dun noe exactly wad is everyone's meaning to life and death....
but i know something life after death is nth...
meaning..wadever u have in tis life.. u can't bring it along when u die...
so is kinda sad..

very tired le..
i just want to be a normal person...
a person to eat, slp, laugh, cry
a person who can be true to herself...

10:33 PM;

Sunday, October 01, 2006

last week was a week of ups and downs...
still very busy in office..doubt there will any changes for this coming.. very busy..not that i'm bullshiting...but it is like war-place for me..
then came the news that my granduncle passed away on friday nite... was real sad for him... afterall for the past few mths he was suffering... so tormented by the sickness, his life problems and many problems i guess he encountered.... my impression of him when i was still a child was like, he is very capable, always combed his hair, will take note of his appearance, guess he was aso charmer when he was young ... but he had many 3 wives.... his lst wife, my lst grandaunty was a nice lady, very gentle, and she looked abit eurasian..and always calls me hamburger..coz i was round and chubby when i'm young... and i remembered attending their christmas party at their factory or warehse place...it was like a huge place...so many containers... they made into office or something.. i aso dun rem that well... but lst grandaunty passed away quite early..so memories start to blur already..
and yup..i went to attend his funeral wake ysdty , stayed there till 10+..... actually was quite shocked when i lst went there... he was a catholics...so his funeral wake was held in a catholic church centre...my papa parked his car at the carpark then we went up the stairs to the centre hall... i was like so stunned when i reached that place..coz i saw many coffins laying there, covered by cloths..i was so shocked... very very very stunned. i mean i nv see covered coffins, i was imagine things... like zombies..haha... i noe my imagination ran wild..lol.. i was like i wan to carry my ah gong and run coz my ah gong walks real slow..he can't walk for too long..but he can cycle...lol... i noe..ya..very ignorant of me.. basically the coffins are all empty...my uncle bluffed me... but was really shocking...
anyway... went in to the centre hall quickly, pay my respects to granduncle.. and took a look at him lying in the coffin... feel very sad that time, almost wan to cry liao..when suddenly my ah ma actually cried and very loudly... she was really sad... i guess.. is that life is so short... and she feels sad for my granduncle that his life has ended in this way... wad can i say, i tink last august, i just met him at his place, he was alive, still chatting... but ystdy i saw him, laying in coffin, resting in peace... RIP granduncle.

it was like... life is so unpredictable, fragile and vulnerable.. changes happen everywhere... one moment u can be happy and another moment u r filled wif sadness...
many things happen for a reason, sometimes we noe the reason, but sometimes reason is not clear...
sometimes we do not know wad will happen nxt, but we will have to bear the consequences...
however we know the consequences sometimes, but we will still insist in doing it.....
i dunno.... so many things are so undescribable... or so abstract... that we dun understand..but we tot we actually understands... i mean ya.. i know u dun really understand wad i'm saying now... but i guess.. tis is me bah..lol..only the rite one could understand...how i am feeling now...

life and death is just a line different....
life after death is nothing... or otherwise...
if there are things that left unsaid after death...would it be called regrets?
but life has no due date... when will one noes his/her life is up...
i dun understand... but i hope i will nv no regret when i'm gone..

so i wan to say to terence.... i miss you...
i noe u wouldn't care whether i miss u anot..
but i jus wan to speak out my mind...
i duno where u are...
i duno wad u are doing now...
maybe u have forgottten me...
maybe you will say... mich u gotta let go..
maybe u dun even care..
i nv hold on to anything...
i just miss u...
takecare dude....

gd nite everyone...takecare...
be happy and stay cheer...
ciao !

11:35 PM;

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