Wednesday, August 30, 2006

woohooo..been very busy lately...
my mama fell ill starting of the week...
then my papa got stung by a bee....
then me... busy with my work..
then anna.. my business dev manager pop by my dept..
told my dept head..regarding her next visit to my customers...ya..
she is visiting my customers this friday..
gd news for my customers i guess..
at least they are going to meet and have sort of like meetings...
and ya..my dept head...told me something..really really really sound scary..
she said.."mich, i'm on leave on friday..so yup..you gotta accompany anna for the meetings..."
i was like huh... i noe nth leh... just perm staff recently... actually i was trembling..when i heard that...
i'm very nervous.. though all i have to do is....say hi, smile and keep quiet..lol.. i dun understand..
lol...but i dun really like to socialise...prefer to keep to myself...but within one day.. i've to see 2 customers... and dunno who esle is joining us...
anyway... ya..busy..one of word for me...
busy...at least i feel much happier..lol.. dunno y... i tink i fell in love with working... lol...perhaps alone could be much happier.. i dunno.. or i shld say i'm a lone ranger.... that's y i like working with animals..at least they dun tok..and i dun have to tok..lol...
i must be a nutcase...

.. actually i very disappointed with Him...honestly..i'm very very very disappointed with him..
all i need is one reply.... one freaking reply you couldn give..
i dun understand seriously... really..
why could all my frens reply me..and yet you dun..
treated you like a fren..yet you shun away..
then dun tell me be gd frens k...
trying to be one gd fren..yet ..i dunno lah..
if you tink avoidance is betta... then so be it bah..
I dun understand..
I thought i figured out what you meant to me, but i was wrong......
as a matter of fact..i hate him to the core...

anyway is alrite...won't see him anymore..
ya.. very f**king silly to fall for someone like this...

Just received junjie's sms...
tink he just lights out...
very happy to receive his msg...
i noe he meant it wadever he said in the sms.
appreciate it.
thx alot.
fren forever

frank... can u call me during office hr anot...lol
i lazy to ans phone call after work... sorry ar...
imagine whole day arguing wif ur warehouse ppl.. if not whole handling customers problem..can faint lo... anyway..i so happy.. i slimmed dwn again..though abit only lah...
but very sad leh.. can see obviously stretchmarks..
and ya..the dinner i haven 4get...but pls tell me when...
or sat u wan to meet.. long time didn smack u liao..lol..
actually today received ur msg..so farnie.. nv noe u so respect me hor..lol.
call me k sis.....i lazy to dial ur number lah..lol..

my mama sick le..
i hope she can recover quickly.
if we can exchange health, i hope i can exchange with hers.
dunno wad's wrong with her stomach...
she said it hurt so bad, worst then giving birth...
papa wanted to send her into hospital.
but she was afraid..
so she tolerate the pain whole nite.
nxt morning, seen a doc.
i was nt around, but she told me becoz her gastric moved position.
nv heard of it.
but now under control le. so yup.

ya.. william surprised me....
he called me last Thursday...
haha.. that fella.. wad can i say..
got gf liao.. so 4gotten me, the so-called his best buddy....
lol.. really happy to hear from him..
see him so xin fu..aso happy for him lah...
jiayou lo... i will save up more for ur wedding dinner lah..lol

ya..frank in reading...
going NS soon...
mus takecare of urself...
eh..enjoy the process of ur transition from a little little little boy to a big big big boy...lol
u will always be a boy in my mind lah..lol..
mus jiayou wor...
ehem...Miss HHH...will be rite there waiting for..uuuu

my mama sick le..
i hope she can recover quickly.
if we can exchange health, i hope i can exchange with hers.
dunno wad's wrong with her stomach...
she said it hurt so bad, worst then giving birth...
papa wanted to send her into hospital.
but she was afraid..
so she tolerate the pain whole nite.
nxt morning, seen a doc.
i was nt around, but she told me becoz her gastric moved position.
nv heard of it.
but now under control le. so yup.

ya.. william surprised me....
he called me last Thursday...
haha.. that fella.. wad can i say..
got gf liao.. so 4gotten me, the so-called his best buddy....
lol.. really happy to hear from him..
see him so xin fu..aso happy for him lah...
jiayou lo... i will save up more for ur wedding dinner lah..lol

ya..frank in reading...
going NS soon...
mus takecare of urself...
eh..enjoy the process of ur transition from a little little little boy to a big big big boy...lol
u will always be a boy in my mind lah..lol..
mus jiayou wor...
ehem...Miss HHH...will be rite there waiting for..uuuu

i'm not mad abt him..
i'm not crazy abt him...
i'm not hoping anything from him...

do i still miss him?
yes, i do.
he is in my heart.
but i hope he can feel it too.

I know it is very silly to make oneself feeling so miserable.
I don't enjoy that too.
Nobody wants to make themselves feel this way.
I nv wanted to feel this way.
It's pathetic.
It was as if your heart is gonna crack into many pieces.
Sometimes, I rather someone could like stab it and let it die.
and until now, it is still aching.
I don't want to be this way.

I know you might be thinking,
what the hell is mich thinking? Is she a nutcase or something
He is not someone whom is so wonderful.
I'm not someone perfect, I don't what are the rights and wrongs in love.
Many say hey u shldn be doing this and that, the rule of love is this and that...blah blah blah
I know they meant well, I shld know
There are many things that are not without control
But love is not a game, it is not abiding the rules or not
I'm not someone that are perfect for love.
Frank and cheryl are rite, I shld wake up.
who are you to tok abt love.
someone freaking ugly, fat, annoying.

But i swear i Nv hope anything,
Nv have a thought of hoping...
perhaps in my dream...

I can't find the reason on why i still miss him
neither do i can tell you the reason on why I still love him.
In fact I don't know what is love.

Guess like what many ppl say time will fade many things.
isn't that true?
not to worry, i won't contact him anymore.
In fact, I won't contact many ppl also.
Hopefully, this pathetic Mich will fade away someday.
and there will not be any Mich's existence.

dear frens in reading, though only a few of you reading..haha
appreciate your understanding
Know you all meant well
i nv takes things too hard...
becoz like i was said, there is nth for me to hold on, how to let go
lol.. dun worry...
i'll be fine.
will be disappearing for quite sometimes if my plan goes well
perhaps someday, down the road, you found someone familar
happy smiling..lol.. it's me...
and ya please forgive me for deleting my frenster acc.
You guyz will always be my fren... gd gd fren.
frens shld be kept in our heart. isn't it..

Found a job recruitment.
is abt about frequent travel to overseas.
it's time to keep myself occupy with something.
wish me luck. hopefully.

Takecare everyone.
gd nitez.
appreciate you to finish reading my today entry.
yea. getting long-winded.
ya. miss all of you.
nitez.

was recovering...

until..that nite... i dreamt abt u... i was running away from you..
but u managed to catch me... and u held my hands...
and spoke to me... the words... i was hoping u meant it... for real..

was wishing that i nv woke up from the dream...
I wish u are here with me...




I'm just not your type.
if i can ...i hope i was.

was recovering...

until..that nite... i dreamt abt u... i was running away from you..
but u managed to catch me... and u held my hands...
and spoke to me... the words... i was hoping u meant it... for real..

was wishing that i nv woke up from the dream...
I wish u are here with me...


i'm just not your kind

was recovering...

until..that nite... i dreamt abt u... i was running away from you..
but u managed to catch me... and u held my hands...
and spoke to me... the words... i was hoping u meant it... for real..

was wishing that i nv woke up from the dream...
I wish u are here with me...


i'm jus not your kind

was recovering...

until..that nite... i dreamt abt u... i was running away from you..
but u managed to catch me... and u held my hands...
and spoke to me... the words... i was hoping u meant it... for real..

was wishing that i nv woke up from the dream...
I wish u are here with me...


i'm not your kind

was recovering...

until..that nite... i dreamt abt u... i was running away from you..
but u managed to catch me... and u held my hands...
and spoke to me... the words... i was hoping u meant it... for real..

was wishing that i nv woke up from the dream...
I wish u are here with me...


not your

was recovering...

until..that nite... i dreamt abt u... i was running away from you..
but u managed to catch me... and u held my hands...
and spoke to me... the words... i was hoping u meant it... for real..

was wishing that i nv woke up from the dream...
I wish u are here with me...

sorry frank.. i didn mean to change my blog url..
i just dun wish ppl to noe how sad i am..
so pls frank..dun tell anyone of my new url.. only u and hui noes abt it...
in fact i dun wish u to tink i am weak or having depression...
perhaps u r rite..i was having depression.. or i am just lying to myself that i'm happy..
i dunno.. seriously i dunno..been searching for an answer for myself...
you are very right.. i've been a fool... weiting liddat.. terence aso liddat...
i need to move on.. that's why i removed my frenster acc... i dun intend to have another one..until i tink i'm ready... when i'm happy again.. when i'm back to the old, silly, happy, clumsy., crappy.. big.....aunty hippo... michelle...
maybe u shld watch "my lovely samsoon"....becoz it describes some of my feeling in it bah..lol
feeling real down.. been crying for the past few nites...
i dunno..
my stomach hurts.... it hurts so much that i wan to stab it...

finally so many months.. i finally shed tears... i jus feel like crying...
i'm so happy that i shed tears..
for the past few months... i tot i dun have any feelings.. been lying to myself that i'm happy...
hahaha.....
i just realised i'm very very very very sad.... not depressed...
life is great...
i love working..
all lies..
nth but lies..lol..

many things have faded...
pages of my notebk
my wall colour...
my pencil case

my memories...

i didn walk away from my memories...

人总要学着面对自己，正视自己真正的感情，不是吗?

How does one walk away from all of the memories?
How do i not miss you when you are gone?
what do i tell my heart.....

we have distant ourself...
was it time? or was it becoz of avoidance?

beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder
no matter how pointed a head is...

jus saw ur head...
i was like omg...
freaking.....
i was like where the hell ur hair went..
but take a 2nd look at it..
i like ur new hair style...
it suits u actually...
so in love with it...
holy...
somebody save me..haha...
but still very nice..

wad can i say...
joanna said " wah so gross"...."how can a head be so pointed"....

i can't stop laughing...
but is cute lah..
ur head look like rugby ball....

hahaha....

so i will end today entry by saying

ilovepointedhead.....
nitez

beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder
no matter how pointed a head is...

jus saw ur head...
i was like omg...
freaking.....
i was like where the hell ur hair went..
but take a 2nd look at it..
i like ur new hair style...
it suits u actually...
so in love with it...
holy...
somebody save me..haha...
but still very nice..

wad can i say...
joanna said " wah so gross"...."how can a head be so pointed"....

i can't stop laughing...
but is cute lah..
ur head look like rugby ball....

hahaha....

so i will end today entry by saying

ilovepointedhead.....
nitez

haha... suddenly many memories cross my mind...Thinking back when we first met, I remember what you said.... in fact we didn tok at all..lol.. u were wif kokyee...lol.... my lst impression of u .. eeee...so shabby.. so blur... someone who will nv cross my mind 2nd time.... lol...
but the very lst time we tok ... was becoz our yr 2 com skill lesson..it happened that we were in the same class....yahui intro me.. to u , px, johnson... very lst time.. lol...all we said only "hey Hi"...then silence..u were sitting beside me... then very bored mah..so i took our my hp checked my sms... u said u wan to see my hp... then we start toking..then 5 of us exchanged our hp number..... and that was how our frenship started..lol... so simple..lol.... come to tink of it.. i wouldn mind do a few more comskill projects...lol.. but then we were supposed to form groups... and we tot we could form our own group... to our surprise, mdm aisha..already grouped us already.. ended up.. 5 of us gotta split up.. and i rem i got elaine, maria, kah seng , jasmine and javier... omg was like my tot...lol.. then u were wif alan, rebbecca, ting ting, louisa... yahui and px the lucky ones..got to be in the same grp... so fun lah... then comes the marketing project... 5 of us..including junjie went to the saab showroom...
haha... perhaps memories were meant for reminicse ... anyway... ya.. i miss u .. and i still do... can't deny the truth... but do i ever cross ur mind?
dunno wad happen along the way...
we left so many words unspoken...
i dun understand why sometimes u treat me that cold way... perhaps i shldn know aso...
gd nite.

today very scary lah.... ppl changes so fast.... especially their mood.. it was like.. suddenly sunshines...then rain again..then stormy... then sunshine again... i dun understand... really jus dunno how to cope wif tis kind of ppl esp at w.... freaking frustrating...

maybe i shld take up some kind of courses... to handle such ppl... freaks...
mood swings like wad the helll....

anyway..dun spoil my weekend... many songs i heard lately very nice...some are old songs.. then some new songs...

for example tis one by marco hernandez...song title" the way i do"
Now I can't go on without you
I'm naked, I cant fake it.
I'm not that strong without you
Never thought I could love you the way I do.
I always thought I would stand on my own
Climb a mountain top all alone
Relying, depending on no one
Now look at what you've done
Now I can't go on without you
I'm naked, I cant fake it.
I'm not that strong without you
Never thought I could love you the way I do.
Never thought I could love you
Never thought I could need you
Never thought I could want you
The way I do

another song by brian mcknight "still"

And I know its hard to believe
your still the biggest part of me
all I'm living for
I still think about you
I still dream about you
I still want you
and need you by my side
I still mad about you
all i ever wanted was you
your still the one .....

very simple words...yet it jus meant so much.....

I need you like the ocean needs the tide.

today..kao... very kao.. lst time saw a handsome guy waiting for bus at my bus stop... he was like so cool..just say.. he is cool...lol.. jus made my day man...lol.. it's been a long time since i last seen a shuai ge in my neighbourhood... lol.. and he was so..awww.. u noe.. we boarded the same bus to Tamp mrt... and when he walked passed me in the bus... his eyes was looking at mine..and it was like giving electricity current thingy... almost can't make it to work man...lol... and even worst... we alighted the same bus stop...wad can i say.. really can't make to work today. he walked pass me again.....lol...nv so high before..pls 4give me lah..yea..kinda retarded..hehe.. it jus been so long ... pls 4give me...everyday..i only see uncle eric nia lol... somemore he sit opposite of my desk..lol.. and worst thingy... i acted jus like him nowadays...coz i tok to myself aso.. jus like uncle eric...wad can i say... shipments make us nuts... lol..kao if everyday i can see him that shuai ge...wouldn it be nice... jus see aso not bad lah.. haha.. anyway used to it...lol.. jus see no touch..lol... haha..kiddin lah... now my work comes lst....
today very, extremely,..freaking busy wif my work..... searching up and down for the freaking yellow ring file... then my shipments....wad can i say..i'm loving it...lol....
anyway.. really busy lah.. michael most funnie lah... now he is my sister.. i call him mike jie...lol.. he borrowed pencil from me today.. and he said and i heard.. can i borrow ur "panties"...lol..... wad panties...lol.. something is real wrong wif my hearing.... we are so crappy lah.. he always wans to xian hai wo... wan to sabo me xia... but we play play nia..wad can i say...he is mike jie
in the late afternoon around 6+..got serious gastric pain..dunno why... asked my papa to fetch me home.... hence reached home quite early...got to play wif isaac boy boy... jus fell in love wif him.. he is so cute...wad can i say.. his innocent eyes.... small hands and feets.. but i find it kinda big for a child ....lol...anyway..he is lovely lah...
hui.. sometimes.. u gotta stand up for urself.. i dun understand wad is that ger trying to do.. though i noe she is mentally ill...perhaps u r forgiving... is nice of u lah... no matter wad.. cheer up....

I wish that time
Could be replayed
I'd keep you here with me everyday
They say that love is letting go
I hope that you find your way

taken out from " every beat of my heart" by corrine may.... awww...sobz sobz...

haha... ..lol..hahahaa... someone praise me..PRETTY.... OMG...ya.. u might be saying..u might saying," Mich u mus be dreaming...hello wake up..." yeah!!! i'm not dreaming...lol.. in actual fact no ppl ever praised me pretty at all... none.. excluding my mama and my ah ma..perhaps...both of them said that to make me feel betta...but the aunty so nice of her aso lah.. i dunno her actually... jus tat she was chatting wif my mama..lol and i overheard their conversation..haha... ya.. i noe.. she said that jus to flatter my mama nia lah....or maybe she is jus too kind-hearted to tell the truth... wad can i say... lol...
yea frank in reading, i'm ugly.... dun worry..i'm wide awake... i'm fine... lol...no depression..lol..
actually hor last monday tele-conversation reminds me, i miss the conference calls thingy with u and hui and HH...lol..whereby we will not quit arguing.. lol.. speak out from our hearts... long time dun have this session..... hopefully we can have another call thing again.. actually if we didn tok last monday rite.. i nv noe.. there are others whom i noe are also reading my bloggy.. appreciate it.. esp to some of them who are concerned abt my depression thingy...
for clarification, i'm nt having any deadly depression thingy....were jus kiddin wif frankie.. i love to disturb him maybe that why he tot i was having some kind of depression .. dun ask me why...but u can jus take as he is "disturbable"... some of the entries of my bloggy..were just lyrics.. like today.. i find it very nice and would like keep and then refer to nxt time when i read my archive nxt time... i can't deny sometimes i do have the same feeling as lyrics...but it jus emotion.. express it in my blog..made me feel betta.. i can't be calling my gd frens then tell them how sad i am rite...dun wish to trouble ppl when they already having problem... ppl got their own life to live.. .. and i guess my frens have even worst problem than i do.. so i guess the only way to tok.. is my bloggy...
and yes i agreed i have changed..perhaps mentality wise.. but everyone have to change someday... i dun joke as often liao.. i dun tok as often, dunno wad is there for me to tok...lol.. and realised listening is very important.. coz when u r down u need ppl to tok to... and the person who is listening is very important.. coz he/she requires very gd pair of listening ears... lol.. so yup..anyone need someone to tok to...find me..lol.. though i dun have nice pair of ears..lol... i won't comment... coz i believe everyone knew wad exactly they wan in their heart and mind.. be it right or wrong... so yup...
hmmm..ya...jus now saw junjie.. he was botak... he said life in ns was tough... always kanna dekan.. erm.. all i can say jiayou bah..u can do it de.....
tml gotta work.. i gtg le.. oh ya.. wan to tell u all.. pls listen to michael buble..."home"...very nice.. so into jazz now...

Another summer day
Is come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm
Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know

i hope u noe...
gd nite whoever is reading...
takecare...slp tight

sometimes i feel like breaking down and cry...
i wish u will just be there for me...
i wish u can call me and say u appreciate me..

am i so insignificant to u ?

Tell me that you want someone beside you
Tell me that you want to see this through
Tell me all the times that I've been loving you
and tell me you love me too

lstly like to congratulate frankie poo poo...basically finally got ppl appreciate his "handsomeness"...lol.. so happy for him xia... finding someone to love is hard...but to be loved by someone is easy... anyway gd luck k.. yalah very handsome now lah..lol.. (P.s. i'm jus lying for god's sake ) haha..jus kiddin...
but i still prefer u and someone esle leh..hehe...(winks eye) wif our gd telepathy link..u shld noe who i'm refering to... jiayou ar... u sure can de lah..since u say u so handsome...
anyway...still very busy...been tinking shld i leave or stay... michael is leaving soon...so sad.. no one to crap aso le... still hope he can stay....
after work....went to see doc to get my diet pills... hopefully it works... i hope i can do it tis time.. i can't tolerate such "illness" anymore.... is it jus "few kilos"...i can do it... and i sure i can.... for u i will lol.... i'm kiddin...
then went to watch movie..."click".... though some parts quite lame...but is a very nice show, asking us to treasure our life and our family... everything happen for a reasons..... wad will come will sure come... bery nice... in fact i teared..lol.
sometimes... i was wondering... how can someone.. that u were once close wif ...changed and becoming so cold towards u ... sometimes i wish when i called him... he will be happy to hear my voice... as a fren... but do he have sound so annoyed... haiz... i dunno...perhaps. i was unwanted on his list bah... in the lst place... u shldn have care if i ever disappear in front of u .. yea....perhaps u r denying now .... i dunno... i hate thoes gd feeling u gave and took it away from me... why do ppl say u r dun appreciate... i dun get it... i always hope they are wrong.. and i hope i can prove it wrong... guess i can't...

been quite busy lately.. but still manage to find time... to watch my vcds..muahaha..
yes..still very miss him... sometime got the urge to tok to him...but guess he doesn't wan to tok to me bah... whenever i'm online.. he is not...
when i offline he will... but yup.. dunno why... perhaps fates bah...