{DO YOU EVER MISS ME?}

{prologue}

preferred to be called: MichB
years of existence: 19
preoccupied with: eating, sleeping, cooking , throbbing, sighing, reading, flying, star-gazing

*loves:
{chocolate
{nature
{fireflies
{him
{waterfalls
{stars

*loathes:
{plastics
{back-biters
{pests
{back aches

{wishlist}

ipod
sony erisson w900
his love
Precious thoughts figurine
happiness

{fellows}

cheryl}
emily}
Shihui}
yahui}
weiren}
chee wee}
fira}
sulin}
daniel}

{express}

N {Shoutbox}

{credits}

Afianne
Blogskins.com
Kakii.com
Miss M
44suburbia
Foto Decadent

{bygone}

October 2004[x] November 2004[x] December 2004[x] January 2005[x] February 2005[x] March 2005[x] April 2005[x] May 2005[x] June 2005[x] July 2005[x] August 2005[x] September 2005[x] October 2005[x] December 2005[x] January 2006[x] February 2006[x] March 2006[x] April 2006[x] May 2006[x] June 2006[x] July 2006[x] August 2006[x] September 2006[x] October 2006[x] November 2006[x] December 2006[x] January 2007[x] February 2007[x] March 2007[x] April 2007[x] May 2007[x] August 2007[x]

Friday, March 31, 2006

ystdy went to alan's b'day party.. at downtown east.. was fun..many ppl was there... ppl i have known..and aso ppl i dunno..
cheryl was there.. he was there very cute wif his new hairstyle though...
i dunno wad shld i say .... was very very very happy to see him again..lots to say but just dun wan to say anything...coz i just dun wan to have the feeling back....and perhaps he aso has nth to say to me aso bah... y shld i always be the one toking lst and waiting for u to ignore me.. .. am i that annoying... perhaps i am....
sometimes i'm really really very happy..he rems things that i said.... but he aso rems wad other said too.. hence nth great to happy so...haha
i noe i very dumbass... and recently i kept imagine my hp rang or someone is calling my name...but actually no one calls or call my name...and ystdy actually i aso dunno whether am i halluncinating or something during the party... i was changing my t-shirt in the toilet..of coz wif my toliet door closed and locked... cheryl and the rest in room watching tv... while changing, i heard he saying " wait a min, michelle is missing !"... i noe yes while u are reading this, u must be saying mich "go see a doc..lol.. u r having seriously halluncination problems...lol..downtown east chalet how big can it be, how can a person go missing"... i agreed wif u though... haiz...yeah i'm so dead..now that i'm having serious imaginative problem...but it would be nice..he really cares that i'm missing..haha.. but who will not... i care any of my frens aso missing..haha.. so yup..no big deal... and most importantly i need a doc... probably a psychatrist would be betta...but is ex..haha
perhaps giving up somethings that aren't for me... will be better..
perhaps i shldn't be holding on so tight. been constantly reminding myself, it has got to be an equal thing... 2 way traffic... usually i am those kanna knocked down by the oncoming traffic... so wad can i say...
i was surfing the net and i found a prose..quite interesting abt giving up...wan to share it here..it goes like this :
I'm giving up on lovingyou
I cant take the pain you've put me through
Deep down I know the feelings are always there
Maybe someday you will care
At least for now I can hide my pain
I know if I dont, I'll go insane
Our time apart has made me realize
There is no second chance when it comes to guys
I almost had you back one time
But of course, you changed your mind
The many excuses that you have told
Are getting lame and really old
We never talk anymore
Its like a room to ur life and you've slammed the door
It hurts to know you've shut me out
Now I know wut love is all about
You're happy then you cry and cry
Where there was truth becomes all lies
All in all it never ends for good
But then again, who thought it would?

perhaps the person was very sad and disappointed bah... hopefully she would get over..

11:30 PM;

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Someday I'm gonna find someone who wants my soul, heart and mind
Who's not afraid to show that he loves me
Somebody who will understand I'm happy just the way I am
Don't need nobody taking care of me
I will be there for him just as strong as he, will be there for me
When I give myself then it has got to be, an equal thing.

a nice para. hopefully it can be an equal thing...

11:38 PM;

Monday, March 27, 2006

BAsically is another monday.. i duno wad is the aim of my life.. everyone said we exist for a purpose but can someone pls be kind enough to tell me wad am i here for? do hsework? takecare of isaac or jus being ugly is gd enough.. aimless..haha
i admit that poly life is much betta than the life i'm having now. at least i can go sch, chat with the girls, see him, and i miss tutorials and lectures... lol yes, i mus be nuts to say that. but wad can i say... i can't deny it... but i'm happy and content...
i read a piece of new article from a newspaper today. it was abt a family, in kallang... is a very sad piece of news.. tis family of 5, a broken family, the father hits the mother, hence the mother ran away. leaving 3 young children behind. a 10 yr old daughter, 5 yr old son, and a 7 mths old child. omg.. yes..very true..it happened in spore, kallang.everday, the 10 yr old will bring out the 5 yr old and 7 mths kids to beg for food... almost everyday, rain or shine. poor children. y do they have to suffer such fate? and from the article, a man once saw the 10 yr old fed the 7 mth old child with the mamee snack. can you imagine that. a 7 mth old child fed mamee snack. i almost cried when i read that. honestly, i dunno wad is true love, i dunno y ppl can just give birth and can leave their child just like that. they created new lifes and doesn't care abt it. maybe they do at lst..but changed their mind halfway. but i still can't believe it, u noe is their blood and flesh and they got the heart to do that...perhaps everyone has their own reasons for their own behaviour, but i wish to convey to everyone, pls think of the consequences of each actions u made. each life is precious.

so how are u today? why were u in AIRPORT ystdy? wad were u doing? and i decide le..since i can't say i love u in real life. i'm going to do it on the blog daily... except for saturdat..hee... yes I LOve u. miss ya

11:38 PM;

Saturday, March 25, 2006

today nth special took place..stay at home..resting... miss my home... that's like my resort.. i rest there... enjoy myself without all those communication tools.. except for my hp...
there was something i find myself very gulity... as we (my mum and i) were watching a TV ad showing BOa's new album just now... Both Boa and me were 19 tis yr..i guess..i shld be 20 tis yr but my b'day is in DEC..hence..yup i'm still 19..hee... then my mum blurt out " y both of u were 20s..yet so diff"... haiz... YES! i'm ugly... fat... a horrible-looking freak... wad to do..i can't blame anyone..except for myself.. tis is my life.. haiz......
then afternoon, LH asked me and cheryl out for the ALAn's gift.. then i called mao ...and really when i heard his voice.. it was like..." HEY I MISS UR VOICE U NOE!!!" yes...i wan to yell that to him... but i din..lol... like i dare... then in the nite..cheryl intro me several songs..and i like one particularly song...and that's is by shayne ward "that's my goal"...
I'm not here to say I'm sorry
I'm not here to lie to you
I'm here to say I'm ready
That I've finally thought it through
I'm not here to let your love go
I'm not giving up oh no
I'm here to win your heart and soul
That's my goal
it was definitely a nice song..but of coz it doesnt motivate me to woo mao lah..lol.. is yeah..a nice song..lol... and I MISS MAO MAO... I MUS JIAN FEI.... I want to be like a normal ger... happy...confidence.. i won't have to look down always... i can face the world ...haiz.. i can nv be liddat..

11:38 PM;

Friday, March 24, 2006

eh...today nth special..do the routine work... takecare of isaac..hsework..but i guess i am too heaty, my nose bleeded in the afternoon..these few days..the weather was so hot..
basically..i'm fucking pissed wif frank..dun ask me why... i'm so lazy to explain..and i dun wan to tok to him liao... fuck... ( i'm sorry for the vulgarities)
then i realised many ppl went for their holiday today le....envy..and hui went to book her air tickets and holiday package to taiwan today.. envy..lol.. nvm..i believe i will have mine someday..lol... hopefully *cross my fingers* i wan to go europe..those castle.. spain, milian, egypt, taiwan, HK...alot places ..lol.. yea i'm greedy..but i hope can go wif many frens or jus the right person..lol

erm... harlow mao mao... wad have u done today? i guess u went for ur basketball session bah.. enjoyed rite..lol.. nite nite

11:38 PM;

Thursday, March 23, 2006

today... i got a bad migraine... if u have migraine....is already bad enough but having a bad migraine...it is even worst...
i dreamt of him again..lol.. i aso dun care lah...i noe i like him... but somethings are not meant to be...not pt le..but 终会有一天你会相信我我爱你...
i wan to be a
a teacher,a zoo keeper, a police, a officer , a spy agent, a uni graduate, a cook, a woman, pretty woman, slimmer woman, a person gf, a person wife,a mother, a mother of 2 kids, a grandmother...
muahahaaha... wadever

11:38 PM;

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

lol.. like to make some amendment for yesterday's blog update..basically....hui and frank are not cousin..they were basically ex-classmates..but some sort of relative lah hor.....coz hui is a beautiful being..she is swt, lovely and most importantly she is kind and very understanding ger... i shall not describe frank..i was afraid i might get sued by u noe who......

basically i dunno wad shld i do with my blog..coz ppl start quoting from blog..i'm so afraid i might get famous... but luckily i changed my blog url in time..lol..

today went out wif cheryl... to make payment for our test..basically i was so stressed while making payment...then walk walk orchard lo... very tired afterthat..took bus 65.. actually quite fast..lol

anyway..mao mao how are u ? how are u doin..lol..jus asking..

11:38 PM;

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

today went kbow with frank and his cousin aso known as my stomach worm, miss shihui... basically.. during the session, frank was yelling all the way. dun be mistaken, we were not fighting or arguing but singing. Yes! it is his way of singing i guess..muahaha... i'm just kidding. Yes, he was yelling but at times he still can sing lah... lol... and his cousin aka my stomach worm..miss hui ..wad was she doing while frank was yelling ooppz.. i mean singing.. she was basically trying to control her cough... poor gal.. shldn ask her to sing that much... but after sometimes her cough gets betta..and she can sing le... so happy..then sing sing sing..wad esle can we do in KBOx..in a small space..not that small actually..we got a big room..but with 3 of us only... guess wad we have done in that room beside singing... we took pics...haha..actually i'm the oni one doing photo-taking...and i have to admit.. i kept taking pics of myself..yes..very self-concious..and i love myself u noe.. many of my frens find that i dun love myself enough..so i decide to love myself alot..lol.. then took pics of me and hui, me and frankie..me and me and mi...lol.. ok lots of me..but wad can i do... i love myself...
and ya..beside taking pics.. i kept teasing frank...and he teased me back.. honestly we were childish... idiotics..lol..
then sing sing sing sing ...lol... then frank called huisian around 6.56pm.. meeting her... actually i can see that he is very concerned abt her.. coz huisian didn pick up his phone call..he was abit frantic..lol.. but wadever their relationship is... i think they make a great pair... golden couple... even not couple..but gd frens.. i'm still happy for them..at least they found a gd opposite gender fren.. whom they can share their happiness and sadness ..that was good enough... can't be life long partner..but life long gd fren... wouldn't that be so sweet..if only me and terence can ..meet out and go play...just like huisian and frank... pour wadever thoughts and happiness and unhappiness to each other... that will be so nice... but i doubt so...
came back , ate my dinner and watched the 9pm serial drama...went online..
many of my frens doesn't come online anymore and terence aso...all busy and tired after work.. or busy with somethings esle ..hence left with a few options..lol... no lah..i'm not that bad alright.. and i hardly chat wif ppl..except for few..like cheryl and hui lah..lol..
but recently kept chatting with LIm Jian... find him an interesting person though..sometimes is gd to know some of ur senior..coz they would noe more things than u do... LiM jian.. he was a nice guy.. and find him very positive... lol..he saw my nick ystdy... find it interesting..and ask me..wad's wrong with me.. if i didn confess to the person..how will the person noe..lol.. i told him..i tried b4.. but is not always happy ending..lol.. and he said..dun worry.keep finding bah..we sure can find the right one..k.. another person ask me to find..lol.. erm... i did..but always find the wrong target..honestly..i'm not sure how to find le.. is confusing..and basically I'm miss nobody wants... so yup..gave up all those stupid dumb hope to find the right one..perhaps he nv existed...

haiya.. tonite i typed too much...lol

11:38 PM;

Monday, March 20, 2006

today went to watch dorm wif cheryl ...personally i find dorm is a touching movie rather than horror movie..though i did covered my face quite a few times in the show...it aso includes some comedy elements in it.. thoes kids were very funny... lol..anyway.. is a nice show... shld watch if u are free...

just now jus saw my hp.. realised several missed calls from frank... sorry.. i was reading my story book... honestly i'm not sure why do you always treat me so sucky.. do i always treat u that badly.. i dun rem..so stop saying u hate me and stuff.. i nv ask u to love me k...haha.. i noe u r jus kiddin... but pls dun say do it again k...pls.. i noe u r jus kiddin... but pls..dun do it again..thx alot.. love ya... *peace* we are peace lovers rite.lol..

checked my hp... i kept and saved alot maomao's msges.. very nice memories... i noe abit dumb ass to keep all his msg but not all actually... miss him now and then... i noe is still one side traffic.. but i hope it can be 2 sided.. but still hope is still hope... and miracles hardly happen..so yup..dun pin too much hopes on it...

It's hard for me to tell you I love you

right now listening to song... by lst lady.. title "missing You"... very nice...
part of it goes like tis
I would've given you anything
Just to make you happy
Just to hear you say, that you love me one last time
I'd go to hell and back over and over again
Just to prove to you how much I need you here
There is nothing that I wouldn't doI'd cry for youI'd lie for you
And there's no doubt that if I could take your place in heaven
I would die for you, yes I willI would rather give up my life
Than to see tears in your eyes
I can't stand to see you cry

11:58 PM;

Saturday, March 18, 2006

yeah... i finally get to see and tok to him... hahaha...i'm so happy!!!!! hope to see him on lst april...

and i found out one song...very nice... by lin jun jie... is call 只对你说

I wan to dedicate to mao mao..lol.. saranghaeyo !!! very nice song...

站在寂寞的舞台上灯光下
拖着自己的影子
音乐重复我们共同的忧伤
不是每一次的演唱就
可以淡忘明天没有你
in my heart we'll never be apart
残留手上的香味提醒
我在数位相机里留下的承诺
每一封简讯传出的思念都对你说
(saranghaeyo)means i love you
代表着我离不开你
每分每秒每一个声音
只有你撒娇会让我微笑
(saranghaeyo)只对你说
i will love you and forevermore
我答应 baby you will se
e每一个我都属于你
oh baby i will love you because
我都属于你

2:47 PM;

Friday, March 17, 2006

Frank told me online today
~fRaNk~* says:
u will definitely find ur right guy one day.. its only a matter of time...
.....y y y y y ... y do i always have to find... y is he not finding me...
i dunno... perhaps both of us are too lazy....
but right now.. i miss u ... i really do...
sometimes i tink back.. i realised u did very special things... pei me late nite for projects... we always go design sch eat lunch ..lol.. crap wif u in transport class..lpcs... crap wif u online... lunch in nol company caferia almost everyday....... i really do miss u ..
where r u ? can u look for me.......... i miss u ....

1:38 PM;

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

ah... now... i'm wide awake... dunno wad to do nxt... jus finished my english online lession...haiz
many ppl online right now..but i realised none i can tok to... they are either away or busy...thoes not appear online.. doesn't seem to be keen to tok... honestly i aso not sure wad is my nxt move... wad is plan... wad abt my future...blurred vision..lol... really dunno wad to do... sometimes.. i wish he can miss me too... tok to me... but it doesn't seem to be...all my foolish wishes... haiz... when can i find someone who will accept me as who i am... u noe.. i dun have to slim down becoz of him.. he mus accept me as i am right now.. lol... ya..my wishful thinking again... terence terence ar.. where can i find u ... miss thoes gd old days... somehow things have changed... u will nv be the same again...
i really hope someone can guide me thru tis stage of life... i can't find the path of track... where is my right track ?

2:38 AM;

Thursday, March 02, 2006

very tired... very stress... basically is very suay week for both MIC in the company...Justin aso i guess...all of us keep getting scolded... haiz... all very sad..shld i be giving up...
always seems to be making wrong decision... love that person.. kanna push away...
choose a job....then everyone too busy to coach you..... choose to study... kanna rejected...appeal for it.. no news...
wad is this... can somebody tell me... wad shld i do nxt.. i'm very puzzled... i cried and cried..nth seems to tell me wad shld i do... is like the bottomless pit... i can't look out of the hole... wad can i do?
I dun wan to be a teacher... i dun wan to be pressurized... i dun wan to be the sadist... i wan to be happy... and that is my dream.. happy...

11:38 PM;

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