{prologue}

preferred to be called: MichB
years of existence: 19
preoccupied with: eating, sleeping, cooking , throbbing, sighing, reading, flying, star-gazing

*loves:
{chocolate
{nature
{fireflies
{him
{waterfalls
{stars

*loathes:
{plastics
{back-biters
{pests
{back aches

{wishlist}

ipod
sony erisson w900
his love
Precious thoughts figurine
happiness

{fellows}

cheryl}
emily}
Shihui}
yahui}
weiren}
chee wee}
fira}
sulin}
daniel}

{express}
N {Shoutbox}


 
{credits}

 
Afianne
Blogskins.com
Kakii.com
Miss M
44suburbia
Foto Decadent

 
{bygone}

October 2004[x] November 2004[x] December 2004[x] January 2005[x] February 2005[x] March 2005[x] April 2005[x] May 2005[x] June 2005[x] July 2005[x] August 2005[x] September 2005[x] October 2005[x] December 2005[x] January 2006[x] February 2006[x] March 2006[x] April 2006[x] May 2006[x] June 2006[x] July 2006[x] August 2006[x] September 2006[x] October 2006[x] November 2006[x] December 2006[x] January 2007[x] February 2007[x] March 2007[x] April 2007[x] May 2007[x] August 2007[x]

































Friday, December 23, 2005

ystdy was such the weirdest day.... i experienced the lowest point of my life( though i dunno whether is it the last lowest life in my life) then i aso experience highest point not of my life...perhaps the festive... i mean christmas... went for the tp alumni party... it was great..the food was nice... i like the honey ham... and i tot i might find " the one" in the party but it was jus a thought... nv going to happen unless i'm really the cinderella..and lim jian and teckyong gotta check their eyes sight... they told me that guy was wearing a white polo tee..but he was not.. making us feeling so excited.. and Mr tan ...real high ystdy day...tink he shouted yamseng the loudest... was fun lah..imagine i will return to the party nxt year as a tp graduate... oh gosh...time flies...
now back to sad stuff.... actually very tired liao... i dunno... feel like jumping down but tink i dun have the courage... maybe i still can't get over some stuff... and yap sorry cheryl..sorry for making u running around looking me... i'm sorry... i jus can't... haiz...
alot of things are puzzling me... basically i dunno...maybe i noe wad is going... jus that i dun wan to face it bah... maybe i'm ready to face it ...maybe tis is the only way i'm going to face...
tink i'm a big big big failure...i really miss the old me... used to be real cheerful...positive... i wish i can say it out... but i can't..... i'm sorry... i'm so crybaby... tears jus flow so easily... i wish i can be stronger....i'm trying very hard...very hard....
how i wish i can return to normal... but i tink the old one will nv return...
everything seemed to be against me.. i'm bad at leading... bad at talking...bad at choosing things...bad at expressing myself..... everything seemed to be so terrible...is all my fault... . i need someone to tok but i dun have to tok and the person can underSTand wad i'm tinking...
perhaps i'm taking things too hard.... perhaps i shldn be around... perhaps i shldn be living here..
i dun wan to be wif u 2 becoz i wish to be alone.. if i choose to be u 2... i'll be a huge gooseberry...
alan told me to open up... ya..i'm opening up.... i jus dun wish to be a huge lightbulb...say i'm crazy or anything... it jus hurts... dun ask me why... i dun wan to be accused again.... i'm mad...lousy...dumb wadever... i jus dun wan to be there...
i dunno... maybe time is not right yet... i wish life can be easy on me...
every part of my body hurts... head, legs, gastrics, stomach, lungs, and the heart... it hurts.... perhaps... is a sign to me that i'm leaving soon... happy to noe that... nth to worry... i noe ppl find me irritating when i said i'm dying soon... yet i'm not... so hopefully it will... hopefully....
ok...shall end here...enough said.... nitez...

12:00 PM;

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